As it was sunny Charmaine brought the Rolls round to the front of the house in preparation for a trip to the seaside; after a buff and polish with Mr Sheen the old girl was ready for her first outing of the season. The sun shone, birds pooped on the windscreen, whilst Charmaine crunched gears, narrowly missed hitting small children and got her flip-flop caught on the accelerator. Finally we arrived at our destination in time for our first lesson in stone balancing…..
Well balanced…
Sadly, after believing I had a natural talent for this sort of thing I was expelled from the workshop. Apparently the use of superglue was not considered to be a viable option.
I returned to the Rolls to read my book, leaving Charmaine to frolic in the surf and hopefully dislodge the pebble that had balanced itself on her forehead.
After 5 hours of solid reading in variable light with no interruptions for ice cream, fish’n’chips, or anything cheerful, I finished the damn book. And it was a damn book. This one…
The Visitors
The Visitors by Sally Beauman. 540 words of misery; death; more misery; a bit of tragedy chucked in just to make it even more miserable; only one miserly paragraph alluding to sex; grumpy men looking for treasure; posh people stealing from Egyptian tombs; death; more death; typhoid; TB; DEATH. I think the book might have been about death. Set in the valley of the kings it was hardly going to be about the life and soul of the party [she was murdered early on]. Good grief. On the plus side it was extremely well written.
SO…. after finishing the book Charmaine drove me home, sans pebble but with an unsightly weeping wound on her forehead, where I decided that I should photograph this piece of work that has been gathering dust in my studio for the past two weeks begging to be finished….
Gold witterings…
I am slapping this picture in this post with the promise that I will finish this piece for next week’s blog post. AND THERE WILL BE A BLOG POST NEXT WEEK.
I thank you.
Wonky Words 
You did post something, if not a video!
I do like those Inuksuk things, with or without Superglu. I did try to erect one as a plant stand, but the cats thought it was a toy for them. sigh…
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This one doesn’t have the superglue… but I think it would need the glue if I wanted to keep it long term.
Yes, and what a nightmare I’ve had posting this post! Don’t remind me of the video! I tried to post that yesterday – put it this way – my devices are incompatible – not only are they incompatible, but they actually want to kill each other…. more death.
Sx
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Mr Sheen on a Rolls? I bet that stripped a layer off the old girl, leaving her exposed to the elements. I bet she did need a buff after that.
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I put Mr Sheen everywhere, Joey, my house is besmeared with sheen. The Rolls is fine…. I fill in the scratches with a bespoke colour matched nail varnish….needs must when the devil drives.
Sx
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Oh dear ! But be assured, Rollers are built for eternity.
While these fragile dangling balance acts – if you are not Andy Golthsworthy by chance … wonder what he had to say about super glue.
I can’t say nothing about “The Visitors”, but since I saw this documentation called “The Mummy” I stay away from Egyptian tombs.
Glad to see that you posted – and these lines on your graffiti seem to become finer and finer, amazing that the dangling “d” doesn’t drop.
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Andy Goldsmith secret ingredient IS superglue. He will not thank me for telling you this. I think the occasional nail may also feature.
Yep, I’ll be staying away from Egypt for the foreseeable future as well.
Sx
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“grumpy men looking for treasure” I can relate to that. Odd thing that treasure. If you find some quickly then you eventually think it’s not treasure after all. If you don’t find it you get grumpy. Damn if you glue and damn if you don’t. So is the rock of life.
(not sure why but this post got me all philosophical which is better than grumpy or glued to a rock.)
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At least you are not a posh bloke stealing from tombs, Bill! We live in grumpy times…. possibly due to an overindulgence in philosophy.
Sx
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it was the best of times it was the grumpiest of times – does that work? How about grumpytime – when you leave spacetime to be alone in your mancave? Well, I’m about half past grumpy o’clock so I’ll stop.
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That coast looks very rocky an inhospitable. I’m not surprised there are no ices and hot dogs.
and the stone balancing doesn’t look exactly riveting. The book must have been better than you thought or did you snooze?
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Do you know Duckpool, Pat? I apologise for my picture – it’s actually much nicer than I’ve made it appear – it’s dramatic, and difficult to capture with my phone camera. HERE is a much better image.
The book was an odd one!!
Sx
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No I don’t know Duckpool but from the second picture it looks stunning and exciting.
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Hang on. Which old girl got buffed and polished with Mr Sheen – Charmaine or the Rolls?
Hmmm… I shall be giving The Visitors a miss, then (I’m surprised the Daily Mail sticker thingy didn’t put you off). Although, I do love the photo – I may even attempt to take my own photos for my book-related posts.
As ever, your gilt graffiti is beautiful. I particularly like the joined-up i dots & t.
P.S. Don’t tell her, but I sniggered somewhat at the mental image of Charmaine with a pebble stuck to her forehead!
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Maybe it was Mr Sheen in the buff? One can only wish.
Yes, I sniggered at Charmaine’s predicament too; she has been far too uppity lately 🙂
Sx
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you’ve made me yearn for a bit of coastal stone-balancing, it’s all looks beautiful and I need a bit of buffing, I’ve gone a bit fusty lately
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It’s that time of year, Lulu…. there is a hint of summer promise, which is then dashed by cold temperatures and scare stories featuring Asian hornets 😦
Sx
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Oh and the calligraphy is stunning xxxoooxxx
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Thank you!
Sx
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First of all, I luv the header foto! What a clean coast with beautiful topaz blue skies & aquamarine waters! Even the stones are polished smooth & shiny in the fotos! If I’ve learned anything from exploring smooth rock beaches the world over, it’s that the finer sand is just past the few yards of smooth stones, just a foot or two under the cool waves. I like the book on chair foto, too. And I agree with IDV that the graffiti is beautiful, like golden sunrays on paper.
Any day where you can enjoy the beach without being pestered by flying rats & pesky tourists is a great day at the beach!
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Mr Swings, I am now excited! I have thought of a new blogging enterprise – it is going to be called: The Book on Chair blog and will feature weekly posts of photos of books on chairs – it’s a winner isn’t it?! And you might think I’m joking, but I am not.
Sx
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I do love Sally Beauman, but sometimes it seemed the more epic her reach, the smaller the world of the book felt. Nice gilt.
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Ms Tara, Sally Beauman wrote one of my most favourite books – Dark Angel, and I feel really bad about not liking The Visitors… but I didn’t. It was dull… and deadly. I still have Rebecca’s Tale to read…. but I think I’m going to have to bury my head in some easy read contemporary before I do so!
Sx
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I ate Rebecca’s Tale up, absolutely loved it. But I’m not sure whether that and the others of hers I loved would stand up to re-reading 15 years later. Perhaps I should do a horrible experiment on myself?
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I am going to re-read Dark Angel after I’m through with my current pile…. I didn’t like The Lovers and Liars trilogy… in fact I only got a third of the way through Lovers and Liars. I gave up with it because I convinced myself that Beauman didn’t write it…. goes to show that just because you love one book by an author it doesn’t necessarily follow that you’ll love all their books – and, I guess, vice versa.
Sx
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Came over from Mr. Mags and enjoyed this post very much. Will be back.
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Hello and welcome, Mr Squirrel! Next Friday then… nudge, nudge, wink, wink!!
Sx
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Just been trolling through your older posts……and bang an hour has past!
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Hello and welcome, Mr Finlay!! I feel like I should apologise and offer you some cake 🙂
Sx
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Not sure why John is now calling himself Finlay….
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But before you cobble together the new blog post, you really ought to clean up the back of the Rolls, which is full of sand and seaweed and shells and God knows what after Charmaine insisted on bringing back all her favourite stones (all 93 of them).
I think I’ll give The Visitors a miss. There’s quite enough death in the public prints without a huge extra dollop in my reading matter.
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OMG, Nick!!!!! Charmaine has been arrested by the National Trust for trying to smuggle 93 stones out of Duckpool by stuffing them up her jumper!! I thought she was looking extra lumpy….
Meanwhile, ‘Finlay’ has a sophisticated ring to it…. I am thinking smoking jackets, silk pyjamas, and all manner of louche behaviour. I like it.
Sx
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If Charmaine is your driver, I think you should get a new one…………
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This is sound advice, Kylie! Welcome to my humble abode 🙂
Sx
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I notice that these stone thingys eachhave five horizontal elements and one vertical element. Is that like a haiku or something?
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Very clever, Mr Lax, or should I say, poetic…Sx
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Another feather in your cap for the 2016 Infomaniac Book Challenge.
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I know, Ms Mistress, I am well proud 🙂 Sx
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I deleted this, simply because all it would end with is that MsScarlet can’t do wrong. But, after all, we do know this already. So sorry for this non-comment.
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Ack! What did you delete?? I am in befuddlement.
Sx
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No, do not make me repeat it, please !
Nonono … it started with “AND THERE WILL BE A BLOG POST NEXT WEEK.”
GOd, I fell dirty now …
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Ha Ha Ha!!! I did take the photos for it! But I wanted to finish another book to impress Ms Mistress…. I’ll post before the long weekend is done with 🙂
Sx
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Godness – we are living under a spell … like in the dark … there is some sax … sorry … just where I’m rambling right now …
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