Terrible news, Charmaine has abducted Harold! I am beside myself with worry. They were last seen having coffee in a Little Chef service station near Kettering on the A14, so I am packing my bags and going on a road trip to track them down. I may be some time.
I will continue to try to update this blog every Wednesday with news of my progress, but I think you’ll agree that blogging whilst driving up and down the length and breadth of Britain might be awkward, so apologies in advance for not keeping up with your blogs.
Meanwhile, here is some of Charmaine’s most recent colouring in… I miss her already, she was so handy with the crayons – I can still see her in my mind’s eye concentrating so hard not to crayon outside the edges of the lettering – her little lizard tongue poking out the corner of her mouth as her mono-brow knitted itself into a cardigan…. *sob*…..
Smoke me a Kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!
Wonky Words 
Well,while I do understand your concern (you are a special sort of auntie) and hope that you wont have to spend too much on petrol in your search…I cannot, in consideration of my lungs, smoke a kipper. No, sweetheart, not even for you. I gave up the fags (and pipe) more than 30 years ago.
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You may have tinned salmon instead, Dinah… agreement – much more healthy.
Sx
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Exquisite work!!!. Love your sense of humour! May I ask a wee request. Would it be possible to place at the bottom of the photos of you calligraphy examples some information such as; Nib used, Medium used, Paper used etc. Yes, I know it’s mostly in the body of the text on the page, but for quick reference, these inclusions near the photo would be most helpful. Thank you, BK Jan
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Ha, Ha!!! I mean to do this every time!! I will try really hard to remember in future. Thank you, BK!
Sx
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Good luck rounding up Charmaine and Harold!
Oh, if you’re going to Little Chef anyway, could I have a Steak & Red Onion Baguette … if it’s convenient, of course.
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Of course this is convenient, Mr Lax…. I will put in your order at every Little Chef I visit, you will never go hungry again.
Sx
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So are you telling us that you’re going to blog even LESS than you do now? It’s almost like going in reverse. At what point will you just start to remove posts and call it progress?
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Oh the minx. But is Harold such a loss? Why not leave them to it?
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Mr Auty!!! Harold is a sensitive creature… Charmaine randomly packed two carpet bags, but I notice that she has forgotten Harold’s collection of Dr Who memorabilia, his castanets AND, his two favourite pairs of lurex thongs. The man will be distraught.
Sx
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Do not fret, M.Pain! Do not make a mountain out of a mole hill! I will do my best… and posts are more likely to be recycled than deleted 🙂
Sx
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OH my goodness. I don’t know who Harold is. What kind of follower am I, ( pauses to blush ) Is he a hamster or a goldfish, a strapping rugby player with a secret addiction to harpsichord playing. I hope you are not diminishing your blogging activity because your posts have the curious quality of cheering me up 🙂
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Good heavens, Mr Ducks!!! I worry for your memory!!! Harold. Harold the flamenco dancer who lives in the attic with Charmaine, and who are both learning calligraphy The Scarlet Way. They eat nothing but gruel whilst studying ancient manuscripts… Charmaine occasionally makes fish finger sandwiches for us all, which is rather jolly.
I will do my best for the blog posts, but they may have a random nonsensical quality from this point onwards.
SX
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There’s always the big tattoo reveal. hint. hint.
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Yes dear!!
Sx
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Oh, no! Poor Harold. I hope Charmaine treats him gently and that they don’t both get a taste of real food while they’re out there otherwise you may never get them back!
Come to think of it, if they were in a Little Chef, the ‘real food’ thing may not be an issue…
Be careful out there, Ms Scarlet. There are some right Smeg Head drivers on the A14.
P.S. Charmaine’s colouring in was coming along very nicely before her escape.
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I am so tired, Mr Devine, but your words of encouragement are cheering. I have still not yet seen any sign of either of them.
Sx
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Goodness, I hope this isn’t another Madeleine McCann type hunt, going on for years, involving 67 police forces, scouring the globe, costing £15 million, and ending up none the wiser. With any luck a sheepish-looking Charmaine and Harold will return very shortly, having been forced to abort their trip after Harold swerved to avoid a hedgehog and the car went straight into the River Taw near Barnstaple.
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I am indeed still none the wiser, Nick, perhaps I should pocket the £15 million and donate a small share of it to a Hedgehog charity?
Sx
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“as her mono-brow knitted itself into a cardigan” – what a great image!
Back in 90’s when I often traveled to the UK for business, my co-worker and I would stop at a convenient fast food place not too far from Heathrow. The Little Chef reference brought the memory back (but not the indigestion). I forget what the name of the place was but I remember we named it the Happy Hooker.
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Ha Ha!!! The Happy Hooker!!! Thank you Bill, you have quite cheered me up with that one!
SX
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No kippers but I’ve found some old Nicorette patches – shall I send them over?
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Oh my word, Ms Prosser… thank you, right now I need all the nicotine I can get 🙂
SX
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Need I remind you of the “Kipper Surprise” on the menu at Cafe C?
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Ms Mistress!! Nice to see you out and about. There are far too many surprises on the menu at Cafe C… have you tried the Custard Surprise??? I will say no more, other than it takes a bit of chewing.
Sx
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The A 14 leads through a strange country. I would not trust the aboriginies, keep the tank topped, and be careful about what to eat …
I think of Harold as a fellow espadrilles wearer, so he has my sympathy !
Regarding the nice-writing – I do not understand your “t”s. I do make the horizontal line through the vertical one, while you allow the horizontal one to touch the vertical one on top only. Is this a convention or your personal writing style ?
“Little Chef” is unknown to me, and it seems to serve peculiar things …
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Ha! Mr Mags! You’ve got me studying my t-bars… I think this is my personal writing style… they are supposed to cross further down. I blame my eye sight! I just keep missing where I’m aiming for.
Sx
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BTW smoking you a kipper will take too much time I guess, so will you accept this piece of smoked salmon on toast I found in the kitchen corner ? Wash it down with some of this bubbly stuff, cheers you up in no time, promised !
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God yes!! Smoked salmon is my favourite…. with a bit of scrambly egg 🙂
Sx
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There’s ‘es eh eeks’ on the menu on the A63 between South Cave and Newport, the former Little Chef has been turned into an Adult superstore, if you please! Do you think Charmaine and Harold are applying for a franchise?
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Thank you, Ms Carte, for this pertinent piece of information… it does sound possible doesn’t it? I am clunking my click and trying to point my camper van in the right direction… whilst trying to avoid a small child in a buggy as I do my 27 point turn….
Sx
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Chef was never little . I thought that was the whole point.
I am a silly nitwit and took ‘Smoke me a kipper’ to be an expletive like ‘Swipe me!’ or ‘Holy cow.’
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Where is our Chef, Pat??? Ah well. We will continue to miss him… and his devilment!
Apologies, I have been a Red Dwarf fan for a very long time 🙂
Sx
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Yes, what happened to that Chef-of-Blogovia? Last I recall he was talking about golf. And MAPS is strangely quiet,too.
Oh god! They’ve kidnapped H and C!
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Pat is spot on on Chef.
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I think people are being sucked into a bloody black hole 😦
Sx
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Not ‘bloody’!! ‘Bloggy’… Bloody WordPress has started cussing at me.
Sx
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i do so love the bits of coloring on your calligraphy, sweetpea! and i hope you find that little minx and dear harold sooner rather than later! (i’m trying to catch up with all y’all and my own writing!) xoxoxoxo
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Good Afternoon, Savvy!! I am also doing the catching up thing today 🙂
Sx
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I am in a constant state of catch-up, Savvy 😦
Sx
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I think I spotted a writing error. I guess it is “Persip[an]”, not “Persifl[age] …
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Tsk, Mr Mags, don’t you try getting me in a flap! I refer you to Exhibit A!
Sx
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If something would work, I’d link you a “persipan”-receipe – it is a kind of marzipan.
My thinking is one-dimensional, I’m a bloke. Wonder if this comment will go through. Nothing else connects.
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Oh, yes, you’re through! No worries I will look up ‘persiplan’.
Sx
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…or persipan…
Sx
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Any news from Charmaine and Harold yet? Has anyone thought to search in the kiddies play areas at the Little Chefs? I hear there are colouring books there, so Charmaine may be knitting herself a new cardigan as we speak? Uh… type, even.
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Good idea, Mr Devine!! I am not having much luck with the Wine and Spirits aisles in Waitrose.
Sx
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Hello – I can collect my emails… reach this blog… but Google and the BBC are gone? What is going on today??? Is this Mr Lax’s fault with all his funny languages??? Can’t get Instagram either 😦
SX
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Ignore me… it all seems to be back…
Sx
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This happened to me yesterday – the whole morning things went awefully slow,could not reach blogs or news, it only resolved around midday. Maybe its connected to Microschuft’s patch-day.
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I’m going to finish my wine and go to bed. Some of us have to be up and running at 0400 hours! And some of us don’t even have a sar’major yelling “hands off cocks and on with socks!” Sorry… I’ve been re-reading Leslie Thomas’ http://www.amazon.co.uk/Stand-Up-Virgin-Soldiers-Trilogy/dp/0099490048
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Mr Mags – It’s like something’s happened – like it’s memory is a bit of a dither… odd.
Dinah – Ha! I have seen the film – loved it!
SX
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