D
r. Clive Mutterfort, DGM, MRCOG, MClinPscychol, MFFP, DCH, PhD, GCSE, was a large rotund jolly gentleman in the same vein as a young Stephen Fry, all floppy fringed with a similar sense of humour.‘As we can’t locate your previous identity and nobody seems willing to come forward to donate a spare one, then it may be wise to construct a new one for you…. er, the old one probably wasn’t working too well in any case, otherwise you wouldn’t have ended up in here,’ he chuckled warmly, as he started scribbling frantically on his prescription pad.
‘Voila!,’ he exclaimed as he tore off my prescription with an extravagant flourish.
‘Here you are child, this should sort you out, now run along….chop, chop…. what are you waiting for? You must start immediately . . . shoo, shoo . . . toodlepipski.’
I hastened out of his office into the reception area where I sank down into a battered leather sofa and read the following:-
Identity Construction, Stage 1
1) Begin writing a bizarre fictional blog relating vaguely to your everyday experiences.
2) Explore the nature of an everyday object such as the humble bottle, find a way to exploit its inherent potential as a receptacle for purely emotional material.
3) Read books of quotations and note down the ones most relevant to your current situation.
I was beginning to feel a peculiar sense of deja vu….
I would like to suggest:
4) Re-script advertisements in an amusing, yet subversive way.
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PS: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV.
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No, but you are the subject of mystical Tarot card readings…
Sx
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Mr Lax!!! Do not spoil the plot!!! This comes much later… we have to travel back into the past to about 1994… forward to present day 2014…then fast forward to 2025… AND then rewind to 2008 BEFORE any of that can happen.
Sx
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Honestly, if I could construct a new identity I might finally be happy, if only for a moment. Imagine the possibilities! No more mistakes!
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Some mistakes are fortunate. Always look on the bright side, Monsieur Pain.
Sx
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I am really enjoying your blog right now! Delightfully unexpected!
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Thank you, Moya!
I am still adding a few pictures of calligraphy… they have been pushed onto my Flickr account for the time being 🙂
Sx
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“toodlepipski” – ! ?
What kind of doctor medicinae is this ? The man I call doc, his face sculpted by Jack Daniels, reeking of the finest blend of oriental tabaccoes, this man would never tell me goodbye with something like “toodlepipski” – it would end in a roaring coughing fit and Nurse Myra had to bring his medicine, a steaming cup of coffee slightly flavourved with – *snirfl* – Armagnac today ?
“toodlepipski”. Herrgottnochmal …
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I am so sorry, Mr Mags! Dr Mutterfort is a private doctor, and gets away with saying what he likes… plus, all those letters after his name probably have something to do with his colourful vocabulary.
Sx
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OMG — I think I may becoming addicted to YOUR prescription! I want more, more, MORE!
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Be careful what you wish for, Ms Dangerous!!
Sx
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Rather like the movie Ground Hog Day… 😉
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Em…. yep….!!!
Sx
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Blast! I’ve missed 10 days worth and now feel out of the loop.
But perhaps that’s a good thing? Maybe I can use this amnesiac-lite feeling to try and think like our protagonist and deduce the location of the Bottle of Greed?
Oh, who am I kidding?! I still think it was Professor Plum in the Dining Room with the electric golf cart…
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Mr Devine… You mention Professor Plum???? Your deductions may not be so off the mark….
Sx
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