I am querying my decision to call my new avatar Ms Quotes. Originally I thought it was a jolly clever misnomer as it seems to encompass all that I am – I write out calligraphy quotations; I make mistakes; I am female – jolly clever indeed. But perhaps, with hindsight, I was too hasty with this choice as it has now come to my attention that I could have been Ms Chief, Ms Chance or even Ms Leading… did I Ms Out?
Anyhow to quell my feelings of misdirection I have decided to write a series of scintillating screenplays about the Ms Misses, which are bound to be box office hits.
The first in the series will be a futuristic racy romp featuring Ms Guided who travels around the world blindfolded, with nothing but a faulty compass, a dowsing rod, and a camel to help her find her way. Everyone she encounters has teleport technology and 3D printing, but she is determined to prove that the world can be circumnavigated the old fashioned way.
The second in the series will be a dark dramatic tale of intrigue and horror, of subtle nuance and deep thinking, starring Ms Cast who is a sunny blonde with a penchant for slap-stick humour, peek-a-boo bras, and Ms Behaviour. Everyone she encounters has read and understood Ulysses.
The third, and possibly the last, will be a Police/Medical drama which will be an ensemble piece featuring Ms Diagnosis, Ms Apprehend, Ms Begotten and the glamorously named Ms Cellanea. I am not sure of the synopsis for this final screenplay but I am certain that it will have some handcuff detailing… a skirmish in a waiting room… some long lingering looks out to sea… some of it will be shot in black and white… some of it will be spoken in French and there will be subtitles… and possibly someone will fall off a bike…probably Ms Haps.
I am sure that all my readers will look forward to reading more about the production of these torrid tales…. or maybe I am sadly Ms Taken… my faith, Ms Placed…. this could all turn out to be Ms Adventure…
Wonky Words
Peculiar Stories and Occasional Calligraphy
Ms. Quotes is original. Be proud. Regrets are for suckers. The biggest piece of fiction here is everyone understanding Ulysses. Not one of my friends can claim that. Not ONE. I hang out with gutter snipes and the like. Can you work up a treatment for Ms Anthrope? Perhaps she can be the next Bond villain.
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Also, does anyone understand Foucault’s Pendulum? The book and precession as a form of parallel transport? Yes, I am googling like a mad thing….
Qx
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the simple explanation is the earth just turns underneath the pendulum. A pendulum will continue to swing in the same direction if it is not disturbed by other forces. Typical friction brings it to a stop. Galileo studied pendulums. I have no idea how an author could swing that into parallel transport.
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Don’t ask me, I can’t follow the plot to Murder She Wrote.
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If there is a Ms Calculation I will get very confused since I am very bad at math.
Full disclosure: I also had trouble with Gravity’s Rainbow.
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*Strikes Gravity’s Rainbow off reading list*
Qx
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re Ulyssess: every 5 years or so, i take it down from the bookshelf and laugh because if i used a bookmark and picked up where i left off every time, i calculate i would be about 20 pages in! now, umberto eco and Foucault’s Pendulum? i have a copy, but after reading In the Name of the Rose, i was eco’ed out! looking forward to YOUR Ms Adventures in the literary world, sugar! xoxoxo
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I read about a quarter of Foucoult’s Pendulum before realising that I really didn’t have the brain power to figure out what was going on. Is there a film yet?
The Name of the Rose was a good film.
Qx
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Ug. I tried Ulysses but gave up after a few lines.
I’m really looking forward to finding out more about these screenplays. Just don’t let Ms Ile anywhere near them!
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I will try not to misfire, Mr Devine.
Qx
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pssssst! I’m over here! :¬)
xxx
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I see you, Mr Cheen!
Qx
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Mr Cheen shines umpteen things clean! :¬)
xxx
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And Mr Cheen sounds vaguely Chinese, and rather exotic.
Qx
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Actually has more of a plot than most of the messsupss I end up watching on the stage
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The devil’s in the handcuff detailing, Jody!
Qx
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Love the quote above from one of your commentators (commentors?) about regrets are for suckers…love that!
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Ulysses’ pendulum? A funny number by the Wittgenstein Rompers. Will there be stills of Ms Cast and/or the handcuff scene? And maybe a bit of oil wrestling with Ms de Meanor?
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You have inspired me, Mr Mags, I am writing the FOURTH synopsis as I type [which is very clever and dextrous of me] , the oil wrestling will take place between Ms de Meanor and Ms Creant, a vile wretch who fights smeared with crude instead of heavenly scented.
Qx
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I miss calling you “Miss S******”…I don’t know if I’m allowed to say it out loud on this new blog.
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You are allowed, Mistress MJ… but if I change back now this post will be even sillier than it already is…, but I know what you mean…. I may give the other profile authorship rights to this blog, this might be an interesting solution.
Qx
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Multiple Misses?
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Yes… I am sorting it out as I type [whilst still typing the FOURTH synopsis], I am getting slightly confused….
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…and any minute now I will be suspended for suspicious behaviour!
Qx
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I enjoyed all your Ms monikers. I hope to read more of them in future postings. I assume Ms Appropriate will not appear. I think I’m Ms. Understood regarding your Foucault’s Pendulum question. I thought you were referring to the actual device which I just saw at a museum a week ago.
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Ms Understanding is a popular character throughout history… she deserves an epic block busting movie all to herself.
Qx
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Ms Tabitunderthefridge, still making me smile after all these years.
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I think you have Ms Seen, Mr Files…. but perhaps I missed a bit when I last got my mop out?
Qx
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I was just thinking that I’m not clever enough to come up with a funny or witty comment here.
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Don’t be silly, Mr Joey!!!
Qx
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Ms Érables. Sorry.
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Indeed, Mr Lax…. it’s also fair to say it’s something of a Ms Stery….
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But an if is missing. Ms If?
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“Do you know that ‘if’ is the middle word in life?”
Photojournalist
Apocalypse Now
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Ms taken… Does that mean you are married now?
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It’s just nice to see Ms written without a bloody dot after it. Thank you.
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I love the Ms Quotes – clever and intriguing. I wanted the strapline on my blog to read: “Nonsense with a Kiwi accent’ which my Kiwi friends liked but Americans did not, they said why would we want to read nonsense?
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Can you arrange for me to meet Ms Cast? I would like to learn a bit more about this sunny blonde with a penchant for slap-stick humour, peek-a-boo bras, and her friend Ms Behaviour.
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Can I play Ulysses in the movie version? I speak French, you know! And I read Foucault’s Pendulum twice… no trice: twice in French and once in English! So, do I have the part… without auditioning?
Hugs
Jon
p.s. Is it okay if I still call you Ms Blue?
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Godmylove – don’t you cry Ms Quotes – hey, it’s all makebelive, don’tyouknow … no, it’s easy, “We” are good, all and single one. And YOU especially. No worries. No fear.
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